| When I go into a bank I get nervous. The clerks make me nervous; the little windows at the counters make me nervous; the sight of the money makes me nervous; everything makes me nervous. |
| The moment I go through the door of a bank and attempt to do business there, I become an irresponsible fool. I knew this before I went in, but my salary had been raised to fifty six dollars a month and I felt that the bank was the only place for it. |
| So I walked in with dragging feet and looked shyly round at the clerks. I had an idea that a person about to open an account was obliged to consult the manager. |
| I went up to a counter marked 'Accountant'. The Accountant was a tall, cool fellow. The very sight of him made me nervous. My voice was deep and hollow. |
| 'Can I see the manager?' I said, and added solemnly, 'alone.' I don't know why I said 'alone.' |
| 'Certainly,' said the accountant, and fetched him. |
| The manager was a grave, calm man. I held my fifty-six dollars clutched in a screwed-up ball in my pocket. |
| 'Are you the manager?' I said. god knows I didn't doubt it. |
| 'Yes,' he said. |
| 'Can I see you,' I asked, 'alone?' I didn't want to say 'alone' again, but without it the thing seemed obvious. |
| The manager looked at me in some alarm. He felt that I had a terrible secret to reveal. |
| 'Come in here,' he said, and led the way to a private room He turned the key in the lock. |
| 'We are safe from interruption here,' he said: 'sit down.' |
| We both sat down and looked at each other. I found no voice to speak. |
| 'You are one of Pinkerton's me, I suppose,' he said. |
| He had gathered from my mysterious manner that I was a detective. I knew what he was thinking, and it made me worse. |
| 'No, not from Pinkerton's,' I s aid, seeming to suggest that I came from a rival agency. |
| 'To tell the truth,' I went on, as if I had been tempted to lie about it, 'I am not a detective at all. I have come to open an account. I intend to keep all my money in this bank.' |
| The manager looked relieved but still serious; he concluded now that I was a son of Baron Roths-Child or a young Gould. |
| 'A large account, I suppose,' he said. |
| 'Fairly large, I whispered. 'I propose to deposit fifty-six dollars now and fifty dollars a month regularly. |
| The manager got up and opened the door. He called to the accountant. |
| 'Mr. Montgomery,' he said unkindly loud, 'this gentleman is opening an account. He will deposit fifty-six dollars. Good morning.' |
| I rose. |
| A big iron door stood open at the side of the room. |
| 'Good morning,' I said, and stepped into the safe. |
| 'Come out,' said the manager coldly, and showed me the other way. |
| I went up to the accountant's counter and pushed the ball of money at him with a sudden, quick movement as if I were doing a conjuring trick. |
| My face was pale as death. |
| 'Here,' I said, 'deposit it.' The tone of the words seemed to mean, 'Let us do this painful thing while we are in mood for it.' |
| He took the money and gave it to another clerk. |
| He made me write the sum on a piece of paper and sign my name in a book. I no longer knew what I was doing. The bank was going round and round before my eyes. |
| 'Is it deposited?' I asked in a hollow, vibrating voice. |
| 'It is,' said the accountant. |
| 'The I want to draw a cheque. |
| My idea was to draw out six dollars of it for present use. Someone gave me a cheque-book through a little window and someone else began telling me how to write it out. The people in the bank k\had the impression that I was a millionaire who had something wrong with him. I wrote something on the cheque and thrust it in at the clerk. He looked at it. |
| 'What! are you drawing it all out again?' he asked in surprise. Then I realized that I had written fifty six instead of six. I was too far gone to reason now. I had a feeling that it was impossible to explain the thing. All the clerks had stopped writing to look at me. |
| Reckless with misery, I made up my mind. |
| 'Yes the whole thing.' |
| 'You withdraw your money from the bank?' |
| 'Every cent of it.' |
| 'Are you not going to deposit any more?' said the clerk, astonished. |
| 'Never.' |
| A foolish hope struck me that they might think something had insulted me while I was writing the cheque and that I had changed my mind. I made a wretched attempt to look like a man with a fearfully quick temper. |
| The clerk prepared to pay the money. |
| 'How will you have it? he said. |
| 'What?' |
| 'How will you have it? |
| 'Oh' -- I caught his meaning and answered without even trying to think -- 'in fifties.' |
| He gave me a fifty-dollar bill. |
| 'And the six?' he asked dryly. |
| 'In sixes,' I said. |
| He gave it to me and I rushed out. |
| As the big door swung behind me I caught the echo of a roar of laughter that went up to the ceiling of the bank. Since then I bank no more. I keep my money in cash in my trousers pocket and my savings in silver dollars in a sock. |
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